sariagray (sariagray) wrote,
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The Solution To Everything

Title: The Solution To Everything
Author: sariagray 
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, mentions of Gwen & Owen
Word Count: ~
1000
Rating: PG?
Spoilers: Takes place post Something Borrowed.
Warning:
No idea. Nothing, really. Not fluff, not angst. No bad language or violence. Wow. Weird.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood. I do not make money off of Torchwood. In fact, it seems as though Torchwood owns and makes money off of ME. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Author’s Note: Awhile back, there was this "album" meme in which one would take a picture, a quote, and a Wikipedia article and make a fake album. It was fun. Here, do it. In any case, I decided to get some random things and do a fic. I ended up forgetting about the quote, but my picture was a tea cup and my article was the Dionisio Llanca abduction. So this happened. *Shrug*

The Solution To Everything


Ianto settled down a cup of tea at Tosh’s elbow and glanced over her shoulder as she muttered her quick, though genuine, gratitude. When he didn’t move away immediately as was his custom, she glanced up at him curiously.

“Sorry,” he smiled and carefully rested his tray against the tabletop. “Did something else come through?”

She shrugged and gave a little smile in return. “Not sure. Jack just asked me to do some research on it. Said it took priority.”

“But that happened over thirty years ago.”

She smirked. “Ah, so you’ve heard of the Dionisio Llanca abduction, then.”

“Came across it a couple of times sorting through the archives.” He looked back at the screen, his mouth moving slightly as he read. “Always figured it was a hoax.”

“Jack doesn’t seem to think so.”

He nodded and collected his tray, Jack’s mug sitting upon it with a lonely sort of pride, and proceeded to the captain’s office. Jack smiled distractedly as he walked in and Ianto gave a slight nod before settling down the warm beverage. It was this action that caused Jack to glance up; he frowned at the man whose usual habit was to pass him the cup, allowing their fingers to brush against each other. It was silly, both knew, and a small gesture, but it made the day that little bit brighter. Not that either man would ever admit to it.

“Everything all right?” Jack asked, his brow furrowed.

“Hmm? Yes, sir. Everything’s fine.”

“Ianto, what’ve I said about –“

“Sorry. Jack. I’m just thinking.”

“You do too much of that.”

“Have to make up for Owen.”

Jack laughed. “Sit down. What’s on your mind?”

Ianto took a seat as Jack leaned back casually in his chair.

“Tosh is researching that abduction from the ‘70s. The Dionisio Llanca abduction. Just curious why we’re spending time on a closed case with Gwen out on her honeymoon and Owen…well, dead.”

Raising an eyebrow, Jack leaned forward. “Who said it was closed? And when did you get the authority to question my decisions?”

Ianto smirked smugly. “The archives say it’s closed and I got that authority the exact moment you insisted I stop calling you ‘sir’ and sent me out on field work. Seems to be common Torchwood practice, at any rate.”

“All right, all right,” Jack threw his hands up in mock surrender, but he was smiling. “It was never solved, apparently. UNIT insisted the Americans had taken care of it, but I’ve just gotten word that it got shelved for more pressing concerns.”

“An invasion?”

“Not quite – removal of troops from Vietnam.”

“Ah,” Ianto nodded his understanding.

“Right. It wouldn’t have even been discussed except there was a reported incidence in Bolivia a few days ago. Same signs: the light, the paralysis, the size and shape of the figures. The apparent abductee was a young woman, mid-twenties, named Alejandra Valda.”

Jack glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him and then handed it to Ianto, who read along as Jack continued to speak.

“She was outside of her aunt’s house late last Tuesday night when she saw a yellow light that turned blue. She made to follow it, then found that she couldn’t move. She was surrounded by three figures, about a meter high, of humanoid appearance. They fitted something against her finger and took a couple of drops of blood. It’s the last thing she remembers before being dropped in the field behind her aunt’s house.”

“And you’re sure it’s not a hoax?” Ianto asked skeptically. “In all the years I’ve worked here and in London, I’ve yet to hear of a real abduction taking place. Not like this, anyway.”

“I’m not positive, but I think I know what these creatures are, though I’m not sure what they need people for. They’re pacifists and vegetarian to boot. And a lot more intelligent. I just don’t understand it.”

Ianto bit his lip, even less likely to believe in benevolent aliens than he was standard-issue alien abductions. “And what are they called?”

“Qelthan,” Jack smiled. “We’ve got a few things in the archives, but we haven’t seen much of them on Earth so I don’t think there’s much of a description of them there.”

Shaking his head, Ianto set down the paper. “So UNIT’s called us in to help?”

“Appears so. We don’t have much to do; once we figure out what they’re here for, the rest should be easy.”

“All right, I’ll go see if I can’t find anything else in the archives, scour the internet, that sort of thing.”

Jack nodded and, standing quickly, crossed over to him. He rested two fingers under Ianto’s chin and tipped it up in order to kiss him properly. Ianto returned the gesture eagerly enough and Jack felt a tension he hadn’t noticed before begin to ease.

“Now,” Jack murmured as he pulled away. “Down to the archives with you before I decide to follow.”

Ianto smiled and, extracting himself carefully, rose from his seat. “Let me see if Tosh needs any more tea, first.”

“All ri – wait, what was that?” Jack stared at him, open mouthed.

“Tosh. Going to see if she wants more tea. You all right?”

“Tea! That’s it!”

“What? Going off coffee?” Ianto raised an eyebrow.

“No, no,” Jack waved his hand dismissively. “That’s what they’re here for.”

Ianto frowned in confusion and Jack chuckled. Although he’d never say it aloud, he thought that Ianto made consternation look absolutely adorable.

“Tea. The Quelthan want tea. Yerba maté, to be precise. South America is known for producing it; Bolivia, Argentina, and so on. That’s what they’re looking for!”

“So…why are they taking blood samples from humans?”

“They can’t see well, and plants are slightly more sentient on their planet. They take sap from a plant with a device, which also analyses it for its properties. It has to be the same one. When they find out that it’s not yerba maté, which is comparable to their Tijanh plant, they put the humans back.”

“Tea,” Ianto clarified, blinking back some of his bewilderment. “They want…tea?”

“Yep!”

“So what are we going to do?”

Jack beamed. “Get them some tea, of course!”

The End
 

Tags: fanfic, jack/ianto, one-shot, torchwood
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